I'm jealous of your bromance
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
