I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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