His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
