sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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