the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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