Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
