you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
