We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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