Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize