All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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