Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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