sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
