I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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