did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize