Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
