"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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