No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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