Buhtt sex?
4 words: hood of his car
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
as a side note pls kill me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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