Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
