I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize