This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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