If that was your dad, he is hot
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
