You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
