Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
