wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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