i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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