Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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