Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
