thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
