You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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