Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
