she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
