even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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