does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
