I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
