shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
