Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
