My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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