Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
