I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
