Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
