Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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