Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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