We should be called the Road Head Warriors
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
