yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
