She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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