Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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