shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
