Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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