I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
