once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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