I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
