how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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