All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
