i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
