she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
