Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
