Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
