My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
