Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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