White coat. Heels.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he thought i was a dude.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
