Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
