When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
