i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
