You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
