i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
